Everything around me changed.
Pride plays the main role here.
I guess I shall just move on and follow the flow.
A friend of mine got dumped by a girl.
I'm one of the people who get them together and I'm the one to see the relationship turns pretty ugly, thanks to the girl.
Now, I'm trying my best to make sure that friend of mine wont go crazy.
He makes me remind of my past.
The feeling of getting dumped, ignored, rejected, heartbroken by the loved ones.
I keep telling him to move on, and he keep telling me the same stuff I told myself in the past:
"It's hard to move on."
Is it really that hard?
Yes, with all the effort we put to love someone, it is hard to move on.
We just need the time and take some small steps.
I have friends who told me how they felt with their relationship.
I listened, give them some positive feedback and supports them.
I do what I have to do as a friend.
But what about myself?
I used to voice out my feelings and thoughts to only few dearest people.
But I stopped doing that anymore.
I don't feel like telling anyone whats on my mind because I don't wish to look weak in front of anyone.
People always see my as a friendly, humor and happy type of person, even now.
But no one actually sees whats behind my laughter.
People talks to me, but no one actually know how I feel for my past and for myself.
I've been asking myself, after advising friends, have I really moved on in my case?
To be honest, I don't know.
I managed to live my life as usual, but sometimes I still observes, wondering how is she doing.
Once in a while, I login Skype just to let her know this annoying guy is still around.
Sometimes I check if she ever visit my long-abandoned blog.
What is this feeling?
I wont call it "admire" because what I feel is more than just "admire".
I wont call it "love" because I don't know her very well since we don't talk to each other anymore.
I don't even know what I'm typing just to describe this feeling.
Everything indeed changed.
